Rhod Gibert's Best Bits エピソード・リスト

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http://downloads.bbc.co.uk/podcasts/wales/rhod/rhod_20140927-1753a.mp3


Rhod Gilbert on BBC Radio Wales.


If you are listening to this, you are listening to Rhod Gilbert's Best Bits, some of the best bits of my Saturday morning radio show, live on BBC Radio Wales. This week, I'm in my kitchen in London with Little Lloyd Langford.

もし君がこれを聴いているならば、君はロッド・ギルバーツ・ベスト・ビッツを聴いているということだ。ロッド・ギルバーツ・ベスト・ビッツ ... それは、ロッド・ギルバートのベストなビッツ。ラジオ・ウェールズで毎週土曜朝に放送している番組から、後世に残すべき部分をピックアップしてお届けする。今週はロンドンにある自宅のキッチンから、ロイド・ラングフォードとともにおおくりする。


Plenty __ coming up on the show today, Lloyd.

今日は盛りだくさん。

Looking forward __ later in the show, I've got a new feature today. It's Yes-or-No Town Planner.

即答せよ!都市計画係!

... Yes ... yes-or-no on-the-spot town-planner, we're gonna play later __ __ __ put you on the spot, you've got to answer / yes or no / a town-planning issue / stumble / across / papers / light-hearted gambol / this morning / that's what it is, yeah. / dry, that. / it's ... yeah. It sounds a bit dry on paper. You wait till the game comes to life. ...

まあ見てろ、

Loads of games sound dry on paper. / Yeah, you're right. / Twis ... Twister sounds quite dry just in ... innit? / Nuh. You're right. ... Terrible. Worst example / against each other on a mat. ... That's the most fun I've ever had. / Huh? Uh ... now then, uh, I'll tell you what's coming up on the shw today, we've got a bit of a __, / we've got some of your choices / you've got a Valentine Brothers, / Yeah, / And you've got an old man singing, uh ... what is it? / what's that, Lloyd? You said it was an old man singing, uh, These Boots Are Made To Walking ... / 80% of my choices are old men. / Yeah, I know. You didn't really sell it, though. Who is it? Let me find it. / __ __ __ __ __ / I've got ... look what I've got / in your __ / album, we've got the Kinks, we've got stuff like that, and then Hendrix and stuff like that, and all of (what) you've come up with / some old man singing / one, two / of my shoe / guy that wrote __ boots / walking, singing song ... I mean, ... you make me sound like I just recorded some guy in the street. /

まるでボクがそのへんを歩いてるおっさんをつかまえてレコーディングしたみたいに言うな。/

I'm being playful / very good. I think / chosen / before / didn't play it. / oh, didn't they? / I think __ refused.

拒まれたような気が。/ ...

Uh, now then, coming up on the show today ... what have we got, Lloyd? You've been looking through the papers / stories / we've got some stuff about ... what about / got some stuff about / I've got / tell you what / cheese quiz later / oh, really? / yeah / second half. / I've got a bit of cheese news, actually. / ... I'll tell you what.

こうしよう。

Let's have a track. Let's have a track, 'cause, uh ... I wanna tee myself up for your Cheese News.

おまえのチーズ・ニュースに備えて心の準備を

I ... I just wanna get excited for a few minutes. So, uh, everybody out there, this is Devils Haircut. Get excited / cheese news.

チーズ・ニュースでどよんとする前にちょっと景気のいい曲をかけよう。


Now then ... hey, what's cheese news?

さてと。おまえのチーズ・ニュースをきこうじゃないか。

/ What? You want my cheese news? / Well, I haven't got any, so, yeah, might as well. ... Hang on. Let me give a sting. ... Ping! Cheese News. / Here we go. ... "Kim Joung-un ... / You don't need to say "Here we go." Once the news starts, once I've given it the sting "Ping / Cheese News / come in straight

「チーズ・ニュースです」と言ったらすかさず読んでくれないと。「さあ、いきますよ」とかいらないから。

/ I quite like / Huw Edwards / never picks up / paper / goes /

ヒュー・エドワーズ流にやろうと思って。/ __ エドワーズは「さあ、いきますよ」なんて言わないだろ。

"Here we go. ... something in the Middle East ... next up ... actually, he might say "Next up", does he?

お次はコレ

/ scrap that bit / sketch. ... This is one big story.

切れ目のない、一本の大きな話。

It's like a fable.

おとぎ話だ。

How does he separate the stories?

話と話の間をどうやって切るのかな?

/ he doesn't say "Next up" / He should do your ping / Ping. Cheese News. And you ... quick. / Kim Jong-un is gauging on so much ... and I'm not gonna tell you which type of cheese. You have to guess. / Do you know what? / Cheese Quiz for you? / Yeah? / I was gonna talk about / you've just launched Cheese Quiz before __ __ __ __ Cheese Quiz / I could tell you what / if you want, but, seriously it put his health at risk, apparently. / Well, as / yours / Cheese News / yeah / Huw Edwards doesn't go, uh, / the situation in the [blank] is, uh, everyone, guess", do they? Uh, "Press the red button and guess what new story I'm talking about." ... If you / new story, you tell me, Lloyd / quiz / Emmenthal. / I didn't see that coming. フツー! 勿体ぶったわりにフツー! / The 31-year-old North Korean leader got a taste for the cheese as a student in Switzerland. And it is understood that / love it so much that he imports vast quantities / despite western sanctions. And the effect ...

西側からの禁輸にもかかわらず

How does he do it / despite western sanctions? /

どうやって?/

Well, he is a bit of a tinker, isn't he?

キムはちょっとした策士だから。

/ So, / he can't stop eating / reckon / so much cheese now. That's why ... that's why / incapacitated his own legs via cheese / Kim __ ... / dedication / Kim / I think I talked about this before

前にも言ったかもしれんが、

I find his name very difficult to say, because, I'm, sort of, Welsh. / You are bilingual. / Well, / do speak ... I speak Welsh ... yeah, a bit of Welsh, and a bit / a bit Spanish, and a bit of English, and I find it ... No Korean, I have to say, No __ __ ... / I, um ... I find it very difficult. If it's Welsh, it's Kim Jong- ...

ウェールズ語の発音ならキム・ヨン・イーン

/ Yeah. / if it's French, it's "Kim __ __, / "un" is "...", / Kim / Spanish

スペイン語ならキム・ヨン・ウーン

/ and if it's English, it's キム・ヨン・アン? ... So, which is it? / I think maybe this is ... we should open it out to the listeners. ... / Right. Feature 1. ... Good start. Good solid start.

出だしは快調だ。

Oh, I'll tell you ... oh, I did a feature last week about beef bourguignon. ... Then I forgot. So, I put that down as well. / What was that feature? / Huh? / Beef bourguignon, like the ... / What? / W__ ... / yeah? what kind / is there?

ビーフ・ブルゴーニュはビーフ・ブルゴーニュだよ。色んなビーフ・ブルゴーニュがあるわけじゃない。

/ I wonder / what the feature could be. / Well ... it was a feature about beef bourguignon. That's all you need to know for now

今の時点では、ビーフ・ブルゴーニュに関するコーナーだということを知っておけばいい。今は詮索するな。

/ coming up later / the show today / too long last week. I ... I launched it at the start of the show / by the end, I had forgotten.

番組の冒頭にやりますって言ったんだが忘れてしまって、最後までとうとうやらなかった。

I said good-bye, and realized / n't / solid w__ / about beef bourguignon. Beef bourguignon's feature's coming up later. That's Feature 2 / we / other features, Lloyd? Oh, / yes or no on the spot town-planner / Yeah. ... I found / 20 pound / the street / What shall I do with it? / I've told you I dropped that last night.

昨夜失くしたとお前に言ったよな。

Only after I've told you I've found 20 pound / hopefully / yeah. You said / I said, "I dropped it." / then I identified it correctly / Yeah, you said it was purple. / Y ... y ... yeah. / Yeah. I said __ __ folded / unfolded. You said "I did fold it up / You said, " / might have unfolded in a wind.

それの所有者がオレであることを証明するのに十分な特徴説明をしたよな?/ 「オレが落とした 20 ポンド札は、たしか紫色だったよ」って。/ 風でほどけたかも知れないと。/

unfolded overnight / perfectly / covered all your bases, mate.

よくそれだけ言えるなあ。


Hey, look at this. Somebody in Sheffield got in touch, Lloyd. / Yeah? / Obviously very very very very pleased to hear you on the radio. I'm just gonna read this as, I think, __'ve written it / "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Lloyd is back. Where have you been?" That's from Alistair, in Sheffield.

もう、一体どこに行ってたんだよう?

Hello, Alistair. /

こんにちは。

God. Here we are, Alistair

おまえってヤツは ... まあいいや。

/ I've been in, uh, the Fringe in Edinburgh, and then ... / Oh, OK, you don't ... you / literally / "Where have you been?", Lloyd. So, where have you been?

「一体どこに行ってたんだよう?」を文字通りうけとり、文字通り答えたな。まあいいや。で、どこに行ってたんだよ?

I did that. Last time time I was booked for this show, I got cancelled the day before.

それは今言った。... 前回この番組に出演予定だったときは、前日にキャンセルされた。

/ Yeah. Sorry about that. We'd found someone else.

すまん。ほんとにすまん。だって、ほかが見つかったんだもの。

/ looking out, and nobody else was available / somebody just rang / "You don't know me, but I'll do it." So, I said, "Great. We'll cancel Lloyd Langford immediately." / Fair enough. / we did / you are a big supporter of new talent, Rhod.

キミは新しい才能を発掘するのに熱心だな。

/ never / I support / new talent, Lloyd /

オレは新しい才能にチャンスを与えるためなら何でもする。

often at expense of existing friendship

時には友情を犠牲にして。

/ often / expense of existing talent

時には既存の才能をつぶして。

/ let's have a look now. What / come on / supposed to be a light-hearted gambol / apart from Cheese News, you / nothing / indeed / story / and that's Feature 1, by the way. / Right. / What else have you got / the world's most expensive sheep / can you start the story / "here we go" / a la / Edwards

いきますよー、って言えよ。 ヒュー・エドワーズ風に。

/ strap yourselves in, folks / Here we go. / the world's most expensive sheep

世界一高価な羊

/ pedigree __, was sold for 9,995 pound at auction in S__, N__ Y__. / Wow. I'll tell you what. __ __ that is hell of a story. / Is it? / What's special about it? Why / 9 grand / ten grand. You've been tricked by the /

999 にダマされたね。

/ might / keep the change there / It's ten grand / keep the change / Could I have a receipt?

釣りはとっといてくれ。/ 領収書もらえる?

 / why would / sheep? / gold-p__ed?

金メッキされてたのか?

/ really good wool on it. ... It's really tough wool, like hard-wiring.

そりゃもう頑丈な羊毛で。ほとんど針金といっていい。

Is that what you reckon?

マジ?

Well, what else could it be? (Tasty chomps)?

そうとしか考えられないでしょ。

I thought it more likely that / I don't know, maybe gold shoes, or ...

金の靴でも履いていたかと。

like / gold flecks in him. ... There's a cocktail in the paper this week / most expensive cocktail, / Yeah? / made for Grace Jones, / Yeah? / in London the other day. It cost ten grand, and the barman said / very / ask / price / you can't afford it. It had gold flecks through the drink. / Huh, right, yeah. / Yeah. So, I thought / sheep might be the same / golden fl__ce / what would you rather have, then? / expensive cocktail, or / ten-grand sheep?

もらえるとしたらどっちをもらう?

Good feature. ... Feature 3. ... / that was like one of those cocktails when there / like / five-grand diamond ring in the bottom of / glass / a bit of a cheat, I think, putting gold in it

それもらった。「君ならどちらをとるか?」コーナー。/ それで価値を上げるって、ズルくないか?

No, 'cause you drink the gold.

そんなことねーよ。金も一緒に飲むんだから。

Oh yeah?

そうなの?

/ you won't drink the diamond ring / bottom, will you?

ダイヤモンドは飲まないだろ。

/ put / sheep / bottom of the cocktail / 20 grand / really / is a sheep ... innit? / You don't say / drink that cocktail / ten-grand sheep / say / it is practically a sheep dip, mate. ... This will cheer you up.

そうがっかりするな。今元気づけてやる。

OK. / __ __ __ depressed / OK. Cheese Quiz. / Oh? You are going straight into the Cheese Quize? / Yep. / All right. / OK. You're ready? / Yeah. / Bhhhhh. Cheese Quiz. ... That's the sting ... as opposed to "Ping! Cheese News!" ... Cheese Quiz. Here it is. / Yeah. / ... There is a cheese ... OK?

ブズズズズ .... / チーズ・ニュースとの違いをはっきり出さないとな。 / チーズがあります ... いいですか?

/ Correct.

マル! チーズはあります。

/ ... A soft cheese that is virtually fat-free, that the world is going bonkers for. Dieters are going bonkers, health-conscious people are going bonkers / cheese / you can eat as much as you like. / Uh ... / Kim Jong-un /

... / エメンタール

/ he could fill his boots with this soft cheese. He could eat as much as he likes. / Yeah? / but ... Cheese Quiz: Can you name that cheese?

さて、そのチーズは何チーズでしょう?

Oh. ... So, I don't really know that many soft cheeses. ... ricotta? is that a soft cheese?

リコッタチーズかな。あれってソフトチーズだっけ?

/ Uh ... I think ... I think it is of soft type, but not that one.

ソフトかもしれないが、それじゃない。

All right. ... goat cheese? Is that soft? / No. ... You've got one more guess. ... You've got one more guess before I ... before I go to a track. / Am I familiar with it, with the cheese?

ボクがよく知ってるチーズ?

/ How do I know? I don't have the contents in your brain printed out in front of me

知るかー!... お、ちょっと待て。何このプリント? ... スタッフがおまえの頭の中をプリントアウトしてもってきてくれたよ。

... / hang on / about / stuff about Port Albert. Huh ... stuff about / pair of shoes you bought recently / isn't it? / here we are / pick / your nose / says / printout / for the last ... / stop

ええと、最近買った靴 ... / 洗いざらいバラすなよ。

/ yes, it is on there / under the ... uh ... / you filed / list of cheeses / on your brain. I'll give you a clue. You've listed it under __ Camembert

ヒントをやる。おまえの頭の中のチーズ・リストの中ではカマンベール・チーズの下に来てる。

/ strange, uh ... strange / alphabetical order / list / that's / filed it / So, it's Camembert, then?

カマンベールなの?

No. It's underneath Camembert in your brain

だーかーら、カマンベールの下だっての。おまえの脳内で。

oh, so, / alphabetically / no / brain / that's what I'm trying to tell you

だから、おまえの脳内では ABC 順に並んでないんだっての。

That's not a clue or anything! // cheese / follow that one 

ヒントになるか!ABC 順に並んでるわけでもないのに、カマンベールの下って言われたって

... / your / go through your brain / next one 

自分の脳みそだろ。自分の脳内チーズ・ファイルを上から順番に読んでみろ。カマンベールの次に来るのは何だ?

/ Oh ... m__la. / No. / I'm glad / system / It's q__. / What? / I'm afraid so. Let's have a track.

モッツアレラ。/ はずれ。/ なんじゃそらー! / 「脳内リスト」にのってくれてありがとう。/ 悪いがそういうことだ。さあ、曲へ行こう。


Uh ... /missing / photo-shoot / new story / small hairless dog / let's not judge him yet.

ハゲてるからって馬鹿にするのは早計だ。続きを聴け。

/ small hairless dog went missing from its home. / ping / which went missing from its home / turned up nine days later

9日後に発見された。

... have a guess. Where? / Um ... the local ... / handed himself up in the local police station?

地元の警察署に自首した?

No.

ブー。

/ on, uh ... the X Factor? / ... A small hairless dog which went missing from its home ... have a guess at where it turned out, Lloyd / Uh ... some sort of, uh, fashion show? / Yes.

ピンポーン。

A Laura Ashley photo-shoot. The owner had been searching for Laura 9 days / phone-call / dog had been found four miles away in a different county." says the newspaper. This is from ... / which newspaper / printed out / __ __ __ __ __ / it says, uh ... I love __ newspapers / really __ on anything / different county, Lloyd. He hasn't just left home. He / crossed / border / I don't know / how near to the county border does she live? / Uh ... that's a very good point. She could have __ hundred yards from it. /

もっともだ。郡境から 100 メートルしか離れてないかもな。

Exactly.

だろ。

I don't think / "Welcome To Cheshire." I'll turn back / I'm a Lancashire dog, __ and __ ...

つーか、カウンティの境を越えたったって、... 犬は普通、郡境に来たからって、おっと、ここからはチェシャー郡か、引き返そう、なんて考えないしな。越えても不思議じゃない。「おれっちはランカシャー者だ。ランカシャーの外には出ん。」

I tell you what. Uh, Little Lloyd Langford, the ... the emails / are pouring in today. / Yeah. I mean / avalanche__ of, uh ... / so far / two, so far / are here / your sarcasm. ... Listen to this.

2通しか来てない。何が「山のように」だ。しらじらしいヤツだな。まあ聞け。

It is a follow-up / do you remember / said "Yes, yes, yes ..." / Lloyd's back on the show. ... He says, "Can I just say thank you ... " and you said, uh, "Hello." / Yeah. / ... Uh ... this is follow-up / Alistair / can I just say thank you for Lloyd's trademark "Hello" / no worries, mate. / like to keep the fans happy. / sign your chest if you want

ほんのファンサービスさ。胸板にサインしてあげてもいい。

/ under subsequent explanation as to where you've been / as well / Edinburgh festival, and I / enjoy / that information / slightly by / erotic dictation of my text / I apologize for reading your text erotically.

エロっぽく読んでごめんな。

/ it's very difficult to, um ... very difficult to, um ... / very difficult / sense / you said yes, yes, yes, yes, yes down on __ piece of paper / does sound erotic.

だってよ、「イエス、イエス、イエス、イエス」なんて書かれたら、エロっぽく読まざるをえない。

I think / raw kind of magnetism flowing through your body / quite wrong there, Lloyd / ... Very difficult to, uh, keep it ... / breakfast juice you gave me. It's coursing through my vains like something like ... something that I mention

朝メシのときにおまえがくれたジュースのせいだ。一服盛りやがって。

Uh ... Gavin J__ / twitter / what's the best cheese ... huh, it's a joke for you, Lloyd / see if you __ guess the punchline

ロイド、おまえにぴったりのチーズ・ジョークだ。オチを当ててみな。

/ new feature: Guess the punch line. / Right. / OK. ... Ready? / Yeah. / What's the best cheese to hide a horse?

馬を隠すのに使うチーズは何?

I know this one.

それ知ってる。

Well?

で?

Mascarpone (Mask-a-pony).

マスカポーネ(マスク・ア・ポニー)。

It is. It is Mascarpone. Technically not quite accurate, is it?

ピンポーン。実は問題文を少しひねった。

No.

だろうね。

You should say, "What is / hide a pony, but you would practically have given it away.

オリジナルは「ポニーを隠すのに使うチーズは何?」だが、これだと答えを言っているようなものだ。


do you remember the first time / excuse us / Lloyd Langford / we are laughing / just / wife handed me the mail / by that, I mean / come through / literally the second / show / kind of / relax / in my kitchen / wife / way out / nice big parcel / what it could be / what? / give me the percel / Ho ho, grab it. Let's play pass the parcel, just us two. Uh ...

小包回しゲームをしよう。二人で。

There's only one layer ... there's only one layer, though

包装が一枚しかないよ。

Yeah. There's only one layer. That's the problem / enough fun.

つまんねえ。

/ I don't know what / is it flexible / open it and have a look, Lloyd. The listeners at home

開けて見ればいいだろ。リスナーを待たせるな。

/ gonna be like / something / in there / life / trying to tell me something /

妻がオレに手を振って何かを伝えようとしている。

/ all / distracting

気が散るなあ。

you know what it is straight away / smelly thing in there. ... Oh, heck. ... Oh, heck. Go on, Lloyd. / Special scented candles / Special scented candles. ... No, not in that way. Basic ... go on, Lloyd. You might as well start talking about this.

しかたない。話せ。

I came round this flat the other day to see Rhod / Yeah. / And ... / Now we have to have scented candle. ... Because you stink ... no, it's not that

くさいから ... って、そうじゃない。

/ so pepperminty__ in smell, / Yeah. / ... it was like being / assaulted by Mr. Soft / Look. Basically, __, uh ... you know, it's not ... it's not an amusing start of the story

愉快な話ではないが

/ little girl / bitten by a spider / this week / a few weeks ago, it was slugs

数週間前、少女が蜘蛛にかまれて

/ slugs taking over the country. Now spiders are at it. Spiders are everywhere, right? And there are, in our house ... it's an old house ... I don't know why / why / But there are spiders / why that makes any difference / but there are spiders here, right? __ spiders. / I mean, look, in fact, in ... right in front of you ... is an advanced spider-repeller for the whole house

先進の蜘蛛よけ

/ electronic device / It's a thing you plug in, and it emits a noise that apparently spiders don't like.

スイッチを入れると、蜘蛛が嫌がる音声を発する。

It criticises their legs, I think.

「やーい、おまえら変な脚しやがって」とか?

I think it criticizes / yeah / basically, we can't here it

人間の耳には聴こえないので確かめようがないが、

/ things like / stupid legs / you walk / hairy face / Cardiff, is it? / __ __ __ ... This is it. Basically, this week has just been ... my wife's just gone bonkers. She's, uh ... there are ... everywhere you look, and the more just arrived / open them / lemon-cented candles / apparently spiders don't like citrus.

キャンドルはレモンの香りだ。蜘蛛は柑橘系が嫌いだから、ということらしい。

/ She asked me if I had got any conkers. / as if she wanted a game. /

君の奥さんに「コンカース持ってない?」ってきかれたよ。遊びたいのかと思った。

What are the conkers for?

コンカース?なぜ?

/ Apparently spiders don't like conkers

蜘蛛はコンカースが嫌いだからってことらしいよ。

/ amount / any small object / I think / specifically conkers / what? / expect / lying around the place

今度は家がコンカースだらけになるのかよ。

/ imagine / open / 200 conkers / around / she's ready to go / can you go out, please? Can you just go out and do what you're gonna do? I imagine / some spider conference.

行っていいよ。行くんだろ? スパイダー・コンファレンスに。

/ ... To be fair, mate, I haven't seen this __, I haven't seen this ... / It's like some weird shrines / candles burning everywhere / peppermint ... she wonders through in a long lobe, swinging / doing / Catholic church, and chanting ... chanting anti-spider chants in Latin and stuff. / On a related note,

コンカースといえば ...

Huh?

といえば?

/ ... uh, some guy started selling bags of conkers on eBay. ... He's selling batches of 40 conkers for / like hotcakes. / 40 concers for 4.50? / He says, "the product is ideal for playing conkers."

コンカースあそびに最適、だって。


OK. We've got cheese jokes here coming in, apparently. / we didn't ask for cheese jokes, but, __ __ __ ... people seem to like them. People are sending them in. Look. Cheese joke. / Yeah. / I see that you did well last time. / Yeah. / see / this one. / keep / 100 present cheese-joke-guessing going. ... What kind of cheese would you use to entice a bear out of a cave? / Camembert (Come on, bear). / Well, funnily enough, I've got two different jokes / I know that's from Ian in the general Belfast area. ... That's it. Don't let us know where you are

カマンベール(カモン、ベア) / ベルファストの辺って ... いや、いいんだよ。詳しく言わなくても。

Uh ... and then, this one's from / Kevin in N__, posty Kevin in N__, the other one / same setup / joke / cheeze joke / what kind /

It's not Camembert?

カマンベールじゃないの?

It's not Camembert.

カマンベールじゃない。

/ Ian in Belfast, I think, / right joke / bear out of a cave / it's Camembert. ... Right? / posty Kevin in N__, ... bless him. Bless him. / "What kind of cheese / ... Carefree cheese. ... / and he goes on to say this, "What kind of cheese would you use to entice a bear out of a cave? / Carefree cheese ! Very carefull ! / because bear could kill you." / Actually, last time I was in N__ ... / Posty Kev, thanks for explaining the joke, mate. But he does go on to say, "Could you also / I'm not talking to him." / Funnily enough, last time I was in N__

そういえば、前回 __ に行ったとき、

Huh?

ふむ?

/ I spent about 50 quids on cheese. / __ __ __? __ __ __ __ ... Is it a coincidence, Lloyd? What kind of cheese / very good, um, dairy in N__ / Is there?

そうかよ。

But, awkwardly, the guy behind the counter in the shop ...

ちょっと恥ずかしいんだけど、店員がね ...

let's think about this now. What are you gonna say about him?

待った。いいか、発言に気をつけてくれよ。

He asked me for my autograph.

ボクのサインが欲しいと言うんだ。

Be careful now ... did he?

発言に気をつけて ... そうなの?

But I think he thought I was you. / And I wasn't sure whose name to sign. /

サインしてくれって言うんだけど、その店員はボクのことをキミだと思ったフシがある。自分の名前をサインしていいものか迷ったよ。

Well, uh ... this is the way to tell. When you signed it, did he look at it? And did he ... A: pin it on his wall? / B: / __ __ __ bin ?

その店員はおまえを誰だと思ったか?確かめる方法はある。サインしたとき、彼がとった行動は? A: 壁に貼った。B: まるめてクズカゴに捨てた。


Tom on twitter has, uh, / twitted / show / says / "Hi. Cheese joke for you: Why did the one-legged clown leave the cheese circus? / Why did the one-legged clown leave the cheese circus?" ... Is this guessable?

考えてわかる問題なのかよ?

Kind of.

たぶん。

Huh ... I'm just gonna list cheeses that I __ __ / no /

知ってるチーズを片っ端から挙げてみるしかないな。

/ Double Gloucester? / Cheddar? / No. / Mature cheddar / Mild cheddar / no / Is it a soft cheese? / Yes. / Oh. ... Mascarpone? / No, mate, quark isn't a cheese. / It is a cheese! / because he couldn't get his stilt on ... Stilton. / why would a one-legged clown /

片足のピエロがなんで竹馬に乗ろうとするんだよ?

Mate, I didn't write the joke.

知らないよ。書いた本人にきいてよ。

/ responsibility / should

おまえがこれを読むと決めた以上、おまえが責任をとれ。

/ one-legged acrobat / cheese circus / it doesn't work / other / cheese circus? / he's kinda __ __ __ cheese element into it / yeah / we'll take that out of the podcast. / Hey, Rhod and Lloyd. Did you hear about the explosion __ __ French cheese factory? / Oh ... hang on a minute. A French ... cheese ... um ... oh, uh, did it at / no / very good, is it?

よかねーよ。

/ any sense.

意味がわからん。

Uh ... / Camembert / Yes. All that is left is debris (the Brie).

うまい!

/ cheese / welcome addition to your excellent show / Oh, Denise, your cheese joke / welcome addition to / There's no question about that / Thank you, Denise / Hey, here's a good one. / different / on twitter / on the topic of cheeses, I'm fond of smoked gouda."

チーズのことですが、私はスモークしたゴーダチーズが好きです。

Is that all he says?

そんだけ?

Well, / afterthought, he ... he obviously thought / a bit more. He's got / it's the bacon of cheese." / Oh, OK. / Is it? Is that really ... is that a bacon of cheese? I ... / Rhodney reckons so. / __ __ __, clearly. Uh, / here's another joke here. ... People / I'm not sure / read this out / this has got nothing to do with cheese, even. / did / ask / cheese jokes / this is just / branched off now / food-based joke / feature you said / how do you pronounce Kim / that hasn't really taken off / how many / nothing on that, ... yet. / "Yet"?

別にチーズ・ジョークを募ったわけではないんだが / 「まだ」って ...

/ Uh ... do you want this joke or not? / Yeah, go on / same bloke / who's the guy / Tom.

トムだよ。

This is Tom on twitter as well

このツイッターで来てるヤツもトムだよ。

/ more than one Tom

この世にはトムが何人もいるらしいよ。

/ on twitter / same one / production office in Cardiff just came / my ear / get ready with a slam / get ready with a slam / Uh ... "Did you hear about the shrimp that went to the prawn's cocktail party? / No. / He pulled a mussel (muscle). ... Get. Slam him. S__m him, Lloyd. ... S__ him.

言ってやれ。

Tom, we're only looking for cheese-based jokes. / S__! Boom!

チーズ・ジョークをもってきやがれ!


I've got a story / papers. Do you want / it's about goldfish, Lloyd, and a policeman. / All right / policeman / I'm intrigued. / I'll read you the start of the story, and you tell me what you think the policeman did / right?

出だしを読んでやるから、この警官が最終的に何をしたか当ててみろ。

Let's turn this into, uh ... a 999, uh ... 999-goldfish-saver's quiz. ... Right. Life-saving first-aid ... this is the story I'm reading now. / Oh. / Right? / Yeah. / he / don't guess yet, Lloyd. ... Right? Don't be so premature with your guessing. Don't blurt it all out. Wait. "Life-saving first-aid is all part of the day's work / but really / done / how sergent Colin Tailor found himself doing just that. ..." First-aid, right? ... " ... when he discovered a pet goldfish abandoned outside the police station / the officer discovered the distressed pet flapping on the ground ... / Oh. / ... yeah, ... as he returned to finish his night shift / around 2:00 a.m. on Sunday morning / so, it's Saturday night, / flap flap flap, policeman finds it. / Yeah. / so far, in the story, from what I've told you, what would you say the end of the story's gonna be? What do you think / He put the goldfish in water.

金魚を水に入れた。

Well, that is what he did.

そうだよ。

... I thought ... I __ thought / given / life-to-life, or something like that / give / French-kissing __ life / Heart massage? / Yeah. Heart-massage. CPR. __ __ __ __ __! / "He's back!", that kind of stuff. "We are losing him! ... Bhooom__ ... He's back!" / gotta put it / I don't know much / come on / life-saving first-aid / like that / what he did / it says / what he did

命を救うことは日常茶飯事だとか書き出しといて、 何をやったかと言えば、

/ it says here / quick-thinking move

これは水に入れるべきだと迅速に判断し

... / what is that quick thinking? / is it what / hang on on a minute / put / in the freezer. No, no, no / oh, hang on, let's put / biscuit barrel / that's not gonna work. Oh, hang on," ... ? / what do you mean quick-thinking? / What other possible thinking would there be?

何が迅速な判断だ。ほかにどう判断のしようがある?

/ find a fish / panic / dog-food / what kind of animal / just leaves / on a pavement? / Is this a joke? / No. / Huh. ... What kind of cheese leaves a goldfish on the pavement / get back to me / with a punchline that sort of works / have / Lloyd's 20 pounds.

いいのを考えてくれた人にはロイドから 20 ポンド進呈。


What cheese ... what cheese would leave a goldfish on a pavement outside the police station? / I ... I don't have an answer. I don't ... I / know / tell / I've got / punchline for that joke / just / Jimi Hendrix / quickly / what have you got? /

おまえの考えを言ってみろ。

Nothing, mate.

何も考えてない。

/ Oh. ... Well, I said, "I don't know, but ... I don't know what cheese leaves a goldfish on the pavement outside the police station, but I know what should happen to it.

ただ、それがどうなるかはわかる。

/ (double-Glocestercized). ... Come on, that's not bad, Lloyd. It should be ...

悪くないだろ?

It's not good either though, is it?

良くもない。

is it? / not bad / should be double-g__ed / should be c__ out / sent / hang on, we've got another coming here, down / is this on the same subject? ... Uh ... here / here you are. Uh, ... "What kind / fish / uh ... this is from Louise / Swanzy / she / punchline / fish outside the policestation / "It's not my fault. I Gloucester ('ve lost her) / oh / yeah, she lost her goldfish / she lost / prefer / you be the judge / which one / is it me / I prefer to be on a different show.

この番組やだ。

We all / different

オレだってやだよ。

/ if Louise wins / give her a 20 pound / No. / OK / ... 'cause / problem with, uh, special / BBC has to be very careful / hand money / outside my house. / on your street / Exactly. My street. Yeah? / The street you live on. / Yeah. My street. ... Do you mind if I y__ __ off cheese for a moment?

ちょっとチーズから離れていいかな。

No.

どうぞ。

Are you sure?

ほんとにいいのか?

I'd be grateful of it.

そうしてくれたらまことにありがたい。

/ here's my cheese joke" says Liz __ / "What did the cheese ..." I'll tell you what. Boom! Boom! / now

/ おっとごめんよ。その前にもう一本来た。... パンパカパーン! 別にコンテストではなかったが、今からコンテストにする。なぜならば、今、勝者が現れたからだ。



/ we've got a new winner /

20 ポンドはオレがもらうよ。

/ my street. But this is the winner

でも勝者はこの人。

/ see if you can guess it.

おまえにわかるかな。

/ what did the cheese say to itself in the mirror? / Oh. / It's a good one. __ __ __ __. "What did the cheese say to itself in the mirror? / "I'm looking a bit waxy" ? ... It was, uh, a wax-covered ... / Do you think, honestly, I would have gone / here / boom! The winner! / I'm being a bit waxy? / damn fine / better / I'm looking __ __ / __ not / "What did the cheese say to itself in the mirror? : "Hello me. (Halloumi) ... oh, boom! That is gonna be in the lead / competion, and that is not a challenge, everyone / few minutes / show / I think you __ __ __ you would win it

もし ... があれば、ルイーズ、勝者はきみだ。


Now, I set out, at the top of the show, I said / beef b__ / not enough time for that. / I know you are disappointed / you're gonna have to live with it 人生に落胆はつきものだ。/ Charles Dickens of radio, I think

君はラジオ界のチャールズ・ディケンズといっていい。

Thank you. ... Go on. / a literary great /

こりゃどうも。... どういう意味? そんなに偉大?

publishes novels / serialized / cliff-hanger at the each of each chapter

ディケンズは新聞で連載していたとき、毎号、よくヒキをきかした、続きが気になる終わり方にしたそうだ。

That's me.

それはまさにオレのやり方。

/ beef bourg__ / last / listeners / and, this week, again / I've, uh ... I have dangled / in front of listeners', uh, ears / all show. / I can hear them / shouting out "Dickensian!"

リスナーの皆さんが「このディケンズヤロー!」と叫んでいるのが聞こえる。

I think that is ... I can hear them / saying something / those lines. ... Uh ... oh, yes-or-no on the spot, uh, town-planner we've been dangling in front of the listners / Dickensian way

即答せよ!都市計画係!

Yeah. / Haven't we? So, uh, we can do that. / Right. / OK, xxxxxxxxxx ... That's the sting. / came out naturally ... / yes-or-no / Do you know how to play?

ルールは知ってるな?

/ yes /

知ってる。

/ well ... do you? /

ほんとに?

no, but / much time / we haven't got much time /

ほんとは知らない。時間がないから、やりながら覚えるよ。

Oh, I see / ok / yes-or-no / we are looking for / on the spot / right now / here / room / no time to think, on the spot, yes or no, / town-planner / yes or no. OK. Uh ... in, uh, China, OK? / Yeah. / ... they have started putting ... next to the cycle lanes, they have started putting in dawdling lanes for people looking at their phones / get in your way / yes / lane / painted lane on the street, next to the cycle lanes / put in a lane / picture of mobile phones / you can walk and d__ / looking at your mobile phone, so you don't get knocked over / you don't get in people's way / stuff like that. ... Yes or no? / planner / Lloyd Langford, ... should we have them in the UK? / Yes. / Good. / ... And I'd / ... There's no ... That's it. That's the feature. ... OK. Next week, I've got, uh ... I've got yes-or-no environmental health officer, ... coming up, uh, next week, ... or __ I? / Dickensian ... Dickensian dangler. That's what they call me

次週は「即答せよ!環境衛生官!」をお送りします。いやホントに ... 人は私をディケンズ流ヒキ職人と呼ぶ。

/ they do / Dickensian dangler/ Or words to that effect

まあ、それ的なことをね。


And, if you enjoyed that, why don't you listen to the whole show? Rhod Gilbert live on Saturday morning / BBC Radio Wales, 11 till 1.

皆さん、お楽しみいただけましたか?次回はぜひ生放送で全部お聴きください。ラジオ・ウェールズで毎週土曜日朝 11:00 から午後 1:00 までやってます。


sting:

http://www.jinglemad.com/index.php?p=/discussion/2888/types-of-jingles/p1

'Coming Up' sequence.